Why is Indulgent Parenting Not Effective?
In the 1987 movie Wall Street, the character Gordon Gekko advised us that greed is good. The subsequent economic meltdown has put a lie to that statement but it also points to another aspect of life – raising children.
Indulgent parenting put simply means giving your kids everything on a silver platter. It means turning your home into a palace of entitlement where every wish and whim of your child is granted. This is not a recommended practice.
Surveys show that this form of parenting has the potential to cause all sorts of problems later in life. No matter how much money we have now or our parents had when we were young, the most important things in life are still health and happiness.
Parents are far better off practicing certain things with their children regardless of how much money they may have. Many young adults who had indulgent parents suddenly find themselves in trouble when they get older. They were used to getting everything they ever wanted simply by snapping their fingers.
Now they are no longer children and are out on their own. They can’t just snap their fingers and have their wishes met. Life isn’t as simple as it once was. This can cause unhappiness. Having been treated like royalty gives a false impression. You think the world owes you a living when in fact the opposite is true.
All parents regardless of their wealth are urged to put into practice the following steps.
- Don’t spoil your kids rotten.
- Give your child tasks or chores around the house. Give them a reasonable allowance and a reasonable bonus if and when they successfully complete their chores.
- Encourage your child to get a part-time job away from home. This will need to be appropriate to their age and abilities but mowing a neighbor’s lawn, working in a cafe or local store are all important in showing young people they need to contribute.
- Don’t give your child money and send them off to entertain themselves. Do things together. Take your kids to functions, sporting events, church activities, do things together as a family. Spend quality time and plenty of it with your children
- Social capitalism or putting something worthwhile back into society rather than simply taking is a great way to behave. It boosts your self-worth, gives you a sense of achievement and of course helps others less fortunate than you. If you practice social capitalism, it sets a wonderful example for your children to copy in later years
As a parent you may not be wealthy but it is still possible to spoil your child. You can allow them to come and go as they please, not contribute around the house and study as little as they like. This is another form of indulgent parenting.
Children can be selfish and lazy. You can set them boundaries and goals and reward them when they achieve their goals. You can encourage them to work hard and enjoy life and watch as they grow into responsible and happy and healthy young adults.
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